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Ironically I sensed that Em wanted more too, but couldn't find the means to express it. Could I bear that, the emotional separateness? For the moment it worked well enough, but it was bound to cause problems sooner or later. A drift away would be painful enough, but...How did I get myself into this position? Almost the same as Tori had been in last summer. Falling in love with someone not unwilling, but unable to give their heart and soul fully and fairly. Time had not run out, but the clock was running. To survive, there would have to be changes, because I knew we could not stand still, marking time in this albeit pleasant hiatus. And now I would have to be honest with Lady H, happily swigging back her wine and waiting expectantly."Um ... it may sound odd, but I still don't know Em all that well ... what I do know, what she's let me into, I do love, but soon I'll want more, and..." My voice began to waver, "I don't know if she wants to give all that to me ... I've found out more. Shaking his head and gritting his teeth he fought the temptation as he felt the wrong in doing such a thing. How could he do it when he’d be no better than one of them? ‘I’m scared. I don’t want you to change me. I want to understand you better. What happened to you? Questions I’ve had forever have gone unanswered. I want to ask you certain things so I can understand better. Why did you leave and why couldn’t you be the mother I needed?’ She saw a tear run from the corner of his eye. Surprisingly she did something she no longer thought she was capable of doing, she cried. It was a woeful sound, scaring him until he understood what he was hearing. He’d awakened a distant past within her when for the first time she felt remorse along with those dreadful human emotions. Emotions were a weakness and she took pride in believing she ridded herself of them. Until now when they began to surface, even if she hated it. It occurred to her his conversion wasn’t going to be easy. She’d never.
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